I am fat and I make no effort to hide this from anyone, Why? because I don’t really care all that much.
I’ve always been a bit chunky, but I definitely piled on the pounds when I came to uni with very little knowledge of portion size/ healthy eating. But in all honesty, I’m not all that bothered about the way it makes me look. I used to be very self conscious, and I still have days where I revert back to that 15 year old wreck, but for the most part, I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin.
There’s been a big rise in the amount of ‘body positive’ content being made online over the last few years, and it’s 100% the reason I’m happy in my own skin. Without all the plus-size based blogs I read, I’d never have gotten to this point. It took me years to be able to say ‘I’m alright being fat’ and I have to thank all the lovely ladies and gents of the internet for that.
My predicament? I’m currently trying to ‘get fit’.
I feel a bit like a traitor. I quite like my lumps, after all they are my lumps, I only have one body so why waste time hating it? I spent enough time with a toothbrush down my throat as a teenager, I’m not up for spending anymore of my precious life in that state of mind. However, my body just isn’t fit enough for my lifestyle. I spend a lot of my life on my feet- I’m a photography student, so I’m constantly out and about shooting this, that and the next thing. I’m a waitress (kinda, the restaurant I work at is weird), so during the summer I’ve been known to do 13 hour shifts with a 20 min break- during the Edinburgh Fringe Festival that is no easy task. Plus I have a lovely wee dog that needs a good walk. That’s a lot of time moving- and my body just isn’t strong enough to do it. Not to mention all the things I want to do that my body just can’t handle.
I want to be able to “live my life to the full”, but in order to do that, I need to shed whats weighing me down- quite literally. I live an ‘active lifestyle’ without the body to fit it, and so it needs to change. I’m not looking at becoming an athlete or a model, but I’d love to be able to run for the bus without almost dying. So thats what I’m going to do.
At the moment I’m loosely following Slimming World. I say loosely because SW lets you use sweetener and consume ‘diet’ drinks freely- This is something I can’t really agree with. Fizzy drinks are my downfall and aspartame gives me horrific headaches, so I plan to be a bit more strict than the plan says you should be. It also lets you eat as much potatoes and pasta/noodles as you want as long as you cook them, but carbs just make me pile on the pounds, so I shall be staying far away. I’ve chosen to follow Slimming World because it encourages cooking from scratch rather than buying pre-packed full-of-crap diet foods. I love to cook, so learning to cook in a more healthy way is an exciting prospect for me, every now and again I might share a recipe on here too!
I love my body, and for the first time in a long time, I’m fuelling it right rather than stuffing it full of crap, so I refuse to let my ‘love my body’ attitude fall by the wayside on my weightloss journey.
I believe I can both love my body, and be trying to better it at the same time.